What is it that really makes us fall in love? Is it all chemistry or are there really effective strategies in love? If you’ve always wondered, read here.
THE THINGS THAT MAKE US FALL IN LOVE
We all know it: making another person fall in love with us is not possible, and often there is no tactic that works. Yet we’ve all asked ourselves at least once: what really makes us fall in love? What triggers a lightning strike? Is it really just chemistry or randomness?
In fact, scientific studies (Stanford University says so!) state that each of us can succeed in attracting the attention of our loved ones by enhancing a series of aspects of our own personality. Some attitudes – obviously positive in nature – can catalyze the interest of other people. We’re not talking about pretending to be different than you are or wearing a mask, but about enhancing certain characteristics.
How to do? Surely it’s important to work on yourself, and do it not so much with a view to attracting the admiration of others, but to feel better about ourselves. Doing new things, increasing our self-esteem, dedicating ourselves to something that makes us feel accomplished, communicating positivity to others too: these are all things that have the power to make us live in a more serene and fulfilling way. So it applies even if you don’t intend to seek a relationship.
Let’s see what aspects to work on.
SELF-ESTEEM
The first piece of advice any good friend would give you is certain to have your well-being at heart. And well-being isn’t just about physical appearance, it’s a mental condition of balance with yourself. Feeling good isn’t just a matter of physical fitness: the starting point is to love yourself as you are.
Having your own well-being at heart increases self-esteem and self-confidence. Think about it by turning the question around: would you be more inclined to fall in love with a person who keeps belittling himself, or with a person who is clearly resolved, confident, and who obviously loves himself?
THE SMILE
Is a smile capable of making us fall in love? Perhaps not alone, but it is certainly a simple and spontaneous gesture that immediately produces empathy and well-being, obviously if it is a sincere smile.
Placing yourself in a sunny and positive way helps in life in general, and helps to communicate a sense of reliability and serenity to others. And then smiling more helps you live better and be happier.
THE LOOK
Knowing how to make eye contact honestly and without awkwardness is a very useful skill in any relationship. And if we talk about love, looking into each other’s eyes is the first step: the look is a very important aspect of courtship and can help strengthen the attraction between you two. Don’t be afraid of ‘staring’ at him or feeling under scrutiny every time he sets his gaze on you because that’s the beauty of the game of seduction.
COMMON INTERESTS
Usually, people are attracted to each other because they feel a strong feeling of bond. If you have interests in common, these usually emerge very quickly even during the first conversations. If you are both passionate about a musical group or you like attending exhibitions or even going to the stadium or going out to dinner, the birth of something more is much easier, also because you immediately find something concrete to do together.
This mechanism, which is actually very basic, is sometimes exploited in the wrong way: there is nothing worse than pretending to be passionate about something just to attract the attention of the person who interests us. This is a counterproductive strategy.
In addition to this, a fundamental concept must also be pointed out: having interests in common is a positive sign, but in reality, we can also fall in love with people who do not share our same passions. In short: the important thing is to find out what our passions are and cultivate them as much as possible
INDEPENDENCE
Being dependent on someone or being obsessive about another person doesn’t send good vibes, and that goes for both men and women.
Demonstrating that you have a fulfilling and serene life (even if you are not in a couple) is certainly a characteristic that arouses interest in others. On the contrary, those who do not appreciate such a characteristic probably have not yet reached a level of awareness that allows them to have a mature and “resolved” relationship.
Being independent also and above all means not making senseless renunciations just to indulge the person we like: unless there are serious reasons, it is better to think twice before canceling commitments previously made or to dedicate oneself to certain activities just because one hopes the person who attracts us appreciate it. Our life doesn’t have to revolve around anyone.
THE OPTIMISM
It may seem obvious but there is always a need for positive energy and optimism in everyday life. People are attracted to those who always look for the positive side of life: instead of focusing attention on the negative aspects of our existence, it is therefore better to emphasize the positive ones. This way of doing is also the first step in improving one’s life.
THE DEDICATION
Falling in love is also going out of balance, taking on some small risks, taking a step towards the other person – and whichever of the two does it first, this gesture will rarely fall on deaf ears. We all need emotional closeness, affection, and attention – and showing it to another person for free usually generates a virtuous circle, if we already like each other. Obviously establishing a real relationship is another matter, but you have to start somewhere.
